Five Days Without Meat: A Retrospective Rumination on Feelings

I’ve thought about going vegan for a while, but I never really tried very hard to make it happen.

I’m still not trying very hard. I kind of got into this accidentally, and now it’s been five days since I’ve eaten meat.

Now, I’m still eating eggs and dairy because I haven’t completely adjusted my groceries list yet, but animals have been off the list for sure. I have yet to decide if I will eat eggs/dairy or not, but I’m leaning towards yes at least for a while because I need my breakfasts or I won’t eat anything until I get home and then I’ll just buy a hamburger or something. Fail.

So how did this all get started?

It was a complete accident.

I woke up late five days ago and only had time to grab an apple on my way out the door. By the time I got home, I realized that all I needed to do was make a vegetarian supper and it would be a day without eating meat. So that one was easy.

Once you’ve gone one day, it’s easier to go two.

After two days, however, it got a bit harder. I wanted a burger. So I made one, except I used mushrooms instead of cow. Way better.

By the way, mushroom burgers are quite possibly the greatest tasting thing I have ever put on my tastebuds and I would highly recommend them to everyone in the world. I use portobello mushrooms, red peppers, onions, spinach, tomatoes, pickles, mozzerella cheese, and mayonnaise on a kaiser bun. Grill everything that can be grilled and shove it in your mouth.

Not eating meat means you have to really compensate with your cooking skills. Fortunately for me I’ve been cooking for years and am already pretty decent, but in the last five days I feel that I’ve really seen an improvement in my knife wielding, flame throwing, and otherwise ninja-ass-kicking cuisine skills.

But I want to talk about feelings, because this is where this week gets interesting.

For the first couple days, I was hungry all the time. A different kind of hunger than I’m used to though. Normally when I’m hungry, I stuff food in my mouth until the feelings go away, right? Not so this time around. I didn’t feel weak or sluggish or any of the usual lack-of-energy feelings I get when I think I don’t have enough intestines sitting in my intestines. I just felt… empty, but in a full way.

Yeah, cause that’s helpful.

I really mean I didn’t feel like I needed to eat, I was just complaining because my stomach wasn’t used to feeling not stuffed to the brim or whatever.

So yeah, that feeling goes away. By day four I felt pretty normalized to this whole experience. Now I don’t feel the compulsion to eat all the time. Instead, I can follow an actual schedule. Breakfast time! Lunch time! Supper time!

And I actually eat at those times. And then I’m done, even if I still feel “hungry.” I just don’t want to put any more food in my mouth. And get this, I have way more energy.

*that was the sound of my head exploding, even though it doesn’t make any sense for my head to explode just because I realized something profound not particularly profound really*

I guess what I’m trying to say is, wake up people. We’ve been living a lie. I blame the government.

Jokes, I’m not blaming the government.

But we buy into this idea that we have to eat other animals as if it’s some sort of holy scripture itself. Not so. Not necessarily.

Some people have to eat meat because there isn’t really another way to get food. Fine. Eat meat. Animals eat meat, people are animals, so people are allowed to eat meat.

But the opposite is also true. Animals eat plants. A lot of animals eat plants.

And for that matter, animals eat insects.

So… why do our diets primarily consist of meat all across the board?

Why aren’t we eating flies, dammit!?

The editor of this blog (that’s me, I’m also the editor) would like to take a moment to point out that in no way are we saying you should eat flies.

The author of this post would like to point out to the editor that that was a joke, and the audience is probably smarter than you and can figure that out without needing you to draw attention to the fact.

The editor would like to point out that his first comment itself was intended to be a joke too.

The author would like to point out that the editor should fuck off and let him finish the post uninterrupted.

The editor would like to announce his resignation from this stupid-ass post. 

The author would like to issue an official “fine, who needs you anyway” comment, and then, with asterisks, a *dramatic exit with music cue.*


So…. yeah…. um…


So anyways, I think we could do a lot better nutrition-wise for one.

But let’s get down to the real issue at hand here, which is whether or not eating animals is immoral.

I don’t think it really is at its core. If you have to eat to survive, you have to eat to survive. Again, animals do exactly that.


As humans, we kind of escaped the food chain. I mean nothing eats us.

Sure, tiny little things take bites out of us, but they don’t kill us in order to feast on our carcasses.

And yet, we kill animals when we have no real reason to do so. We don’t have to eat meat. We’re not going to die if we don’t eat meat. We have the option to not eat meat.

And we should take it.

Look I eat (ate?) animals all the time and didn’t give two shits about it. But now… after reading about Kendall Jones and the whole kerfuffle that came with her story, I’ve come to the conclusion that there is absolutely no reason to kill animals for no reason other than the necessity of survival. Especially endangered animals. ESPECIALLY endangered animals.

Do people actually realize what this means? We, humans, the number one threat to the survival of everything on the planet and, as far as a lot of the religious folks (hint, there’s a lot of them) would like to believe, the entire universe, are killing everything.
[this is not a stab at religious folks, I just think it’s weird that if you think God made the Earth for you, why wouldn’t you at least take care of it? And doesn’t that include, I don’t know, not killing entire species?]

Okay, to be fair, that was a long sentence with a lot of commas, but I recently lost my editor so bear with me.

We’ve already killed off species to the point of extinction just because we were bored.

Now we’re doing it with the environment, again, just because we’re bored.

At the very least, we could stop doing it because we don’t want to eat our vegetables, no?

Can we agree on that?

Maybe not. Maybe I’m throwing myself at the mercy of a pack of wolves. I’ve only stopped eating meat for five days and it was practically a fluke. I don’t necessarily think everyone should just up and cease to put ground up pieces of animals in their mouths. I also think it’s rather silly that we do put ground up pieces of animals in our mouths.

But I really think it’s morally reprehensible to never give it a thought about why you’re putting animals in your stomach, and then to, via ignorance, contribute to the violent, unnecessary killing of fellow Earth-ians, just because you don’t like your lettuce.

Eat your damn vegetables people.



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